I want people to embrace Srebrenica as a lesson about the dangers of ultra-nationalism
What does it mean to be a refugee, a genocide survivor or oppressed? You don’t want to be a victim because then you’re not strong and it means you need to be saved. I tried to stay away from the labels and from thinking about them by studying hard. I graduated in 3.5 years, got a good job and built a life. I never used to talk about my experiences, until the day I heard two of my cousins and a good friend of mine were found in a mass grave. After that, I couldn’t hide my feelings at work. I decided to open up to my colleagues and told them about what had happened in Srebrenica. Later that evening, I received a call from one of them saying it was terribly difficult to hear about it and they didn’t appreciate it when I spoke about the terrible events in Bosnia. I spent the next 15 years thinking there was no space for my feelings of sadness aside from inside my house and within the Bosnian community.
We had everything in Bosnia, but war and genocide still happened there.
Before the war, there were only around 4000 residents in Srebrenica. I remember our parents used to meet their friends in the bars and cafes while the kids would play outside. When it was hot, we used to go to the lake. We had everything we could ever want; we didn’t even feel the need to go on vacation. People from across Europe used to visit Srebrenica for alternative healthcare and the spa was booming. Srebrenica had 2 small hotels and local citizens used to prepare rooms in their homes to welcome guests. It was a beautiful place to grow and live. We had everything in Bosnia, but war and genocide still happened there. I always emphasise that different groups in Bosnia lived together, much better than different groups in the rest of the West and if it could happen there, it can easily happen somewhere else.
Before the Serb aggression started, a lot of people started leaving town. We left as well, and went to my grandpa’s house which was on the border of Bosnia and Serbia. It was around Eid time, and we thought it would be over soon. From my grandparent’s house, we could see the JNA forces and the tanks across the Drina River. The mountains around us were very high and the roads snaked around the mountain. We could see tanks on every turn.
As kids, we thought the JNA was our army and I remember I waved at them one day and I could see the tanks and guns as they turned towards the riverbank and shot at the villages. I couldn’t understand why they would do that. We were used to living together and now they were shooting at us? Where did the hate come from? We weren’t allowed out after that because we would be shot at. The electricity and water were cut off and life became very difficult.
My dad and uncle had gone back to Srebrenica earlier to protect our house and they had to constantly hide from the Serb paramilitary. My dad tried to venture into town to drink with his friends, and he ended up being detained 2 or 3 times. My dad was lucky though, his Serb friends helped him escape. They used to say he was a good guy and not one of the Mujahideen. When people used to call Muslims Mujahideen at the beginning, we never used to pay attention and we laughed at them. There were never any Mujahideen in Bosnia, the stories were made up and we never paid any attention to them but if you bombard people with propaganda long enough, they will eventually believe it.
People told us that our Serb neighbours and friends had joined in the killing. We couldn’t understand why. Yesterday, you drank our coffee and now you’re killing people.
When we were eventually able to go back to Srebrenica, it was a ghost town. Srebrenica was burnt and empty. The people who had remained told us about what had happened and who had been killed. People told us that our Serb neighbours and friends had joined in the killing. We couldn’t understand why. Yesterday, you drank our coffee and now you’re killing people. All the stories weren’t bad though, some Serbs helped their Muslim friends. The Muslims used to hide in the woods to escape the Serb paramilitary forces and only came out to sneak into their own houses to grab food. One Serb man developed a system to warn the people in the woods, if he wore green pants it was safe and if he wore red pants they should stay in the woods. In the beginning, people tried to help each other. My father’s friends helped him a few times when he was captured by the paramilitary forces, but helping Muslims wasn’t without risks. Serbs who helped us could expect the same fate as us.
When we went back to Srebrenica, there were only 300 or 400 people left but by the following year the population swelled to 40 – 50000 as people from Eastern Bosnia sought refuge in Srebrenica. Their houses had been burned down by the JNA (which was JNA only in name, the command was in Serbian hands), Serb paramilitary forces and local police forces. All Serb forces were united. Srebrenica was the last free city and when the refugees arrived, they brought stories with them. We heard about Bratunac and the concentration camps. One of my uncles was an Imam in Bratunac and he was killed. Another uncle was able to get away, he was a historian and later collected interviews from refugees in our house. I remember listening to some of the interviews he had with survivors from the concentration camps, that’s how I learnt about the experiences of so many people.
At 11-14 years old you should be exploring your sexuality in a healthy way, not worrying if your first time would be rape.
I was 11 in 1992, and I looked older than I was. I vividly remember hearing about the Foča and Višegrad rape camps and I was terrified of being raped. At 11-14 years old you should be exploring your sexuality in a healthy way, not worrying if your first time would be rape. The way they would burn down villages was always the same. Burn houses, kill the men, and let the women and children flee. They left a few people alive so they could flee and spread the stories.
We were lucky in a sense because we had a big home which wasn’t damaged and lots of people used to come to us because they had nowhere else to do. At one point, more than 40 refugees were in our house. As kids we loved it, we got to know our extended family members and play together but I remember my mom and dad having arguments about it. My mom was very angry and said if one more person came into our house, she would leave. It was very crowded, there was a whole family in each room.
Even though we had a place to live, there was no food and we had to find a way to stay alive. People were dying because they had no food. When the UN and Morillon came to Srebrenica, we didn’t let him go because we knew that if he went, it would be our end. He ended up declaring Srebrenica a safe zone under the protection of the UN. He saw the terrible conditions and he was forced to say something. Canadian peacekeepers were tasked to keep the enclave safe, but they left after a few months. They said they couldn’t protect us and needed more forces. The Dutchbat (Dutch Peacekeepers) took over afterwards, but they never asked the Canadians what the situation was like. The situation did stabilise for a little while, but the food aid given by the UN wasn’t enough for everyone in Srebrenica. At the time, we thought the worst was over, but the worst was yet to come.
The UN didn’t or couldn’t understand the situation. In their minds it was two sides fighting and they couldn’t see the evil.
On the 11th of July 1995, people started to flee. We all knew what would happen to us. The UN didn’t or couldn’t understand the situation. In their minds it was two sides fighting and they couldn’t see the evil. This was the culmination of 3 years of ethnic cleansing and genocide. We understood what would happen to us better than anyone, but the UN wouldn’t believe us.
The Serbs did whatever they wanted to them. They killed and raped the refugees in front of the UN base.
We ran to the Dutchbat military base in Potočari and managed to get into my father’s office. Around 5000-6000 people could have entered the base, but the UN closed the gates and said it was full. That left 20 – 25000 people outside at the mercy of the Serbs. The Serbs did whatever they wanted to them. They killed and raped the refugees in front of the UN base. Even the local Serbs came out to taunt and kill. If they hated you during peace time, they would come after you. At some point, buses and trucks started arriving outside to deport the refugees. When the refugees saw the buses, they just started running towards them. They had lived through hell for 2 days and anywhere was better than that.
We had endured over 3 years of attacks and because of our experience of the UN doing nothing many knew they would hand us over to the Serbs. A group of men, boys and young women decided not to ask the UN for help and went through the woods. About 15,000 people went in and about half were killed. They were hunted, captured, and executed in the woods. In 1 week, 8000 people were killed. Some came to the free territory after months of hiding. They had seen terrible things because of the march of death. They saw family members die and heard others asking to be shot because they didn’t want to live through the pain anymore. Who can recover from trauma like this?
My dad knew he had the right to be protected because he worked for the UN, his name was also on the Dutchbat’s list to be evacuated with the peacekeepers, but he was sent away anyway.
There was no danger in the military compound, and we thought the UN would protect us. We never thought they would hand us over to the Serbs. A few peacekeepers came to our shelter and said all the refugees had to leave. My dad knew he had the right to be protected because he worked for the UN, his name was also on the Dutchbat’s list to be evacuated with the peacekeepers, but he was sent away anyway. A UN Peacekeeper was walking around, he didn’t really say anything, and you could tell he didn’t want to send us away, but he had orders. We just wanted to be safe and the only place we considered a little bit safe forced us to leave.
The armed UN Peacekeeper walked beside us and made sure we left the compound. The Serbs were waiting outside and pulled the men and boys aside. I kept my head down and counted my steps. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Each step took us closer to danger. A Serb soldier said hi to my father, he had known him from before the war and asked what we were doing here. Then another Serb said my dad had to stay here. My mom tried to beg him to let my dad come with us so we could leave Potocari together. The soldier asked if she was going to try to save her children or stay here. There were unspoken words between my parents. My dad had been holding my younger sister and he kissed her before handing her to my mom. My mom told me not to look back, but I tried to catch a glimpse of him. I remember seeing my maths teacher there as well.
Before we boarded a bus, we saw another one of my dad’s Serbian friends. His name was Momir Nikolic, who would later become a convicted war criminal at the ICTY for the genocide in Srebrenica. He had been my dad’s colleague and was carrying a huge weapon, he was clearly high ranking. My mom also knew him, they had been classmates in high school. He asked us what we were doing here and where my dad was. My mom told him that your men have him. He said we shouldn’t panic and that they’d get him to us. A few seconds later, we also saw a Dutchbat soldier, her name was Monique Bergman, she knew my dad and understood he was in danger. Many years later, I spoke to her, and she told me she had gone after my father but couldn’t find him.
On the bus, all the women were terrified for me because I wasn’t wearing a hijab. Normally, girls in Bosnia didn’t wear hijab, but during the deportation everyone suddenly started covering their hair. Everyone tried to hide, and the hijab helped them become more invisible. I forgot to take one when we had to flee, and I was also dressed in these beautiful clothes my aunt had sent me through the UN because all the shops in Srebrenica were closed. A Roma woman close to me messed up my hair and put mud on my cheeks. She also put her 3- or 4 year-old daughter on my lap. This child was my protector, and she was so afraid of the Serbs she kept saying they were going to kill us. I was only 14 and I also thought they were going to kill us or worse, but I tried finding something to comfort her. I asked her what her favourite candy was and then I saw the stars in her eyes even though neither of us had seen candy in years. I told her I’d buy her the biggest pack in Tuzla.
Every 10, 15, 30 minutes, the bus was stopped by the Serbs. They were soldiers and local people and they used to take the men, boys, and some young women. They took money and jewellery too. I remember one moment when a Serb who couldn’t have been more than 30 waved his huge knife around. There was blood on it, and he smelt like alcohol. He said if we weren’t quick enough to hand over our earrings or rings, he would cut off our ears, breasts and faces. Two more girls were also placed on the bus, they had been raped and all the women tried to look out for them.
My mom kept my head down to stop me from looking outside, but I was curious. When I lifted my head to look out of the window, I couldn’t believe what I saw. There were dead people piled on top of each other like they weren’t people. You try to tell yourself you were imaging it, but I didn’t look for very long because my mom pushed my head back down.
Around noon, we were ordered to get out. It was the last stop and we had to walk the rest of the way. The boys and men who had made it this far were pulled aside along with girls my age. My mom was in the middle, my brother on one side, my sister in her arms and me on the other. She said we shouldn’t leave each other. If we go, we go together and if we die, we die together. My brother and I were acting like we were helping my mom walk properly. We kept our heads down and stayed together.
The Serb soldiers started to slowly disappear the further we walked. We saw a tunnel up ahead and once we were on the other side, we’d be free, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a lie, and they would still kill us. Just before the tunnel, my mom ran up to a Bosnian soldier and asked if he knew anything about the men. He just looked at her like she was crazy.
We stayed in Tuzla for a few months before leaving for the Netherlands. Most of the refugees from Bosnia came to the Netherlands in 1992. It was my dad’s wish for us to go there, he used to say, ‘if I survive, we’ll go to the Netherlands and take the kids away from this corrupt country to give them a future.’ The people were friendly, and they tried to understand but I didn’t think about Srebrenica in the beginning. How would I even begin to explain it? It was a genocide and people were saying there were two sides fighting. It traumatised me a second time.
After a few years of being in the Netherlands, we were in a legal battle against the Dutchbat. My father worked for the UN, but they didn’t protect him. They should have protected all the refugees, but they needed to protect him as their co-worker. We thought my dad might have been alive and we wanted answers. When we spoke to the Ministry of Defence, they said they didn’t know who he was, and claimed he didn’t work for them. We didn’t want to go through legal proceedings, but we said how can you claim he didn’t work for you? We have pictures and we have his contract. It was very difficult to be seen and heard. The case ended up lasting for 12 years, its preparation alone took 2 or 3 years. Eventually, the Supreme Court ruled in our favour and held the Dutch state responsible for his death.
I used to separate my public and private lives because I thought people wouldn’t want to listen to my story, but I chose to talk about my experiences again. When I talk to my students now, they’re blown away. They tell me they are more motivated to learn now because they heard about everything I went through and survived. They said when I can survive all of this, move, learn a new language, and get this position it inspires them to be better than before. They stopped being lazy, making excuses and just tried to do their best.
Srebrenica is not represented in culture, theatre, movies, education, or research in the Netherlands.
We thought people might learn from what happened in Srebrenica, but this is not the case. Srebrenica is not represented in culture, theatre, movies, education, or research in the Netherlands. It is not part of the collective memory of the country, even though the Netherlands played an important role there. If students are taught about Srebrenica, it is one sided and only told from the perspective of the Dutchbat soldiers. I’m not saying we should neglect that part, but that’s not the way to learn about genocide in Europe. The voices of survivors or victims were nowhere to be heard. I am a lecturer and researcher and through my roles, I try to inspire schools and universities to include Srebrenica in their curriculum. No one will ever understand the dangers of ultranationalism from the Dutchbat perspective.
We were not asked to be part of the narrative in the Netherlands. The Dutch tend to see everything from their own Eurocentric narrative, so they look at Srebrenica from the perspective of the Dutchbat. 7 or 8 theatre performances about Srebrenica have been made and they were all from the perspective of the Dutchbat. This is the first play from the survivors’ perspectives which is funny when you consider we have 50-60,000 Bosnians in the Netherlands and only 300 Dutchbat who were in Srebrenica at the time. However, it wasn’t only within art and culture where the perspective of survivors was excluded. When research was carried out by the Institute for War Documentation and in additional research by the Dutch Government, the survivors were always excluded.
I wanted to get involved and include the perspectives of refugees, survivors, and victims. A lot of theatres said no and said the play isn’t relevant, that it wasn’t interesting, and that the public won’t be interested. The opposite was true, people weren’t informed about what had happened in Bosnia and Srebrenica because they were always told one side of the events, but they wanted to learn. The play was well received because it was from both perspectives, from the Dutchbat and the survivors. The two perspectives came together in one play and people were able to better understand what happened. It was a huge success and sold out across the Netherlands, it was also suggested that we take the play to the UK. Teachers from the UK would like the play to be performed there, but we need to find allies there.
When one person said the play wouldn’t be successful, that doesn’t represent their entire community. People want to learn and if you create the opportunity, they will want to see it. We need to take back the narrative and act. We should decide what’s being put on stage. The narrative is beginning to change, and the horrors of what happened before, during and after Srebrenica are being brought to light.
You need to address the root problems of the factors which cause refugees to flee. Right now, we must stop Dodik, otherwise there will be a lot of Bosnian refugees, just like there were in the 90s. Western policy must use force to stop dictators and oppressors, they should isolate them and strip them of their powers, so people won’t have to flee. They don’t do anything though because their economic interest outweighs human rights. Just look at China, the Rohingyas and what’s happening in Ukraine. Similarly, we need to isolate Assad and focus on why people had to flee Syria, but we don’t talk about this. We always look at the consequences, never the cause of what creates refugees. We are seeing this again in Ukraine, we never learn about the consequences of oppression and aggression but now everyone is paying attention because it’s on European soil. The Bosnian Genocide was in Europe too, but everyone seems to have forgotten about it.
Refugees are shown as weak and vulnerable and portrayed in way that shows the ‘civilised’ Western people having to empower us. I am empowered. I am not weak or vulnerable.
We should also take back the narrative of what it means to be a refugee. We should inspire people so they can research the success of refugees and consider the examples of how Bosnian refugees have integrated. Refugees are shown as weak and vulnerable and portrayed in way that shows the ‘civilised’ Western people having to empower us. I am empowered. I am not weak or vulnerable. We should focus on the success factors that highlight the strengths of refugees instead of projecting weakness. A lot of the time, refugees don’t own what we are. A lot of people say we’re expats, they don’t proudly say that we are former refugees, like I did for 15 years. Other people try to frame us, but it is our responsibility to be proud of ourselves.
I want people to embrace Srebrenica as a lesson about the dangers of ultra-nationalism and how it can end up in genocide. After WW2, we said, ‘Never Again’ and multiple organisations like the UN and NATO were born out of Nuremberg and it sent a strong message. Despite this, 50 years later it happened in Europe again. What message are we sending to the world? All these institutions which were built out of WW2 should be a lesson and research should be conducted about how this could happen just 50 years after the Holocaust. There is always the possibility of genocide if we don’t learn and reflect.
Look at Ukraine right now. History is repeating itself because no one was listening the first time. In Ukraine, it’s almost the same rhetoric that was applied during the 90s in Bosnia. Just like British historian Marko Hoare said, “The genocide in Bosnia of 1992-1995 was not just an attempt to destroy the Bosniak or non-Serb groups in Serb-occupied Bosnia, but it was intended to destroy Bosnian statehood as an obstacle to Greater Serbia. Russia’s goal today is similar, it aims to destroy Ukrainian statehood. We’ve learnt nothing since the 90s.
People are not numbers. Numbers mislead people to see others as a danger, to prevent this we need to read and understand the last genocide. The NIOD Department (Dutch Institution for War Documentation) conducts research about genocide and the Holocaust. After 75 years, the survivors of the Holocaust are dying without their testimonies being recorded. Now the research has to continue with their children and grandchildren. The survivors of Srebrenica are still alive, but no one has researched the experience of these survivors who are in the Netherlands. We didn’t collect these stories to record the testimonies and secure the data for future generations and now I’m a Dutch with Bosnian roots. When are you Dutch enough for your story to matter?
We have to work to protect multi-ethnic communities. We need to tell people about the dangers of nationalism.
I experienced my community and country falling apart, in a country where ethnic groups used to live and celebrate everything together. 40% of the marriages in Bosnia were mixed. Inclusivity and diversity were common to us, but nationalism tore us apart. If it could happen in Bosnia, it can happen anywhere. We have to work to protect multi-ethnic communities. We need to tell people about the dangers of nationalism.
Nowadays there is a lot of Islamophobia in Europe, back in Yugoslavia and then in Bosnia we didn’t know what Islamophobia was. Islamophobia is when you fear the other because you don’t understand them, and you think they are the danger. In our case, it wasn’t Islamophobia because our Serb friends and neighbours knew us. They knew we weren’t a danger but the Serbian ideology of Greater Serbia and the propaganda they disseminated worked overtime, for decades to make Serbs afraid of us, so they would see us as a danger in the end.
With nationalist parties rising in Europe, the lessons from the Bosnian Genocide couldn’t be more relevant.
People are still blinded by this propaganda and for that reason I think the most important thing is to learn how propaganda works. It was not Islamophobia that led to genocide, it was the ideology of Greater Serbia and the ideology of superiority. Islamophobia in Europe is so widespread that people like to believe the Serbian propaganda from the 90s. With nationalist parties rising in Europe, the lessons from the Bosnian Genocide couldn’t be more relevant. I am afraid this will happen again. The West thought the Balkans were full of fighting barbarians, but we were more diverse than them. I want people to be aware of the genocide in Europe, in our backyard, and raise awareness about the dangers of ultranationalism but I’m not sure if we ever learn.