We don’t come here to get rich
We used to visit Eritrea often and we never really had any problems but when we visited in 2011, as soon as we landed at the airport the Eritrean security forces arrested my husband. They didn’t tell me where they were taking him, but they did warn me against asking too many questions or they would take my children too. We lived in Saudi at the time, but I couldn’t go back without my husband. We ended up staying in Eritrea for 8-9 months and his contract expired so we couldn’t go back but I knew we couldn’t stay either.
Even though we lived in Saudi we were forced to pay 2% of our salary as a tax to the Eritrean government, failure could result in our passports not being renewed. It didn’t just stop there as every few years we told to hand over our entire monthly salary to help the people or military to make schools or hospitals, but the money never reached anyone, the government kept it. It was next to impossible to carry on like this as we have 5 children to feed.
While I was in Eritrea, I was summoned to the police station 7 or 8 times for interrogation. They asked me who my husband worked for and what he was doing in Saudi, they thought he was politically active, and I kept telling them he had no political affiliations. Nothing I said mattered and they still thought he was working with an opposition party. It was only a matter of time before they imprisoned me too. What would happen to my children after that?
When we were leaving, I told them they had to be silent and they couldn’t cry or shout and that if we didn’t run today, I will also be jailed, and they’ll lose both their parents. I couldn’t protect them from the truth. I had to leave for them.
My children were between 3-12 at the time and they all knew their father was in jail and that we had to run. There was no way we could escape through official channels, so we had to use a smuggler. When we were leaving, I told them they had to be silent and they couldn’t cry or shout and that if we didn’t run today, I will also be jailed, and they’ll lose both their parents. I couldn’t protect them from the truth. I had to leave for them.
We escaped to Sudan and managed to find a smuggler there and paid them a substantial amount to take us to the US. We had a long journey to get to the US and we had to travel through Sudan, Egypt, Morocco and Madrid before we arrived in Mexico. The journey wasn’t easy, but it was harder with 5 young children and the fact we didn’t know the language. We were in Mexico City for a few days before we had to move onto Reynosa. The smugglers tried to convince us to go by bus because the plane tickets weren’t included, but I was scared of travelling by bus because I had heard about the gangs, so I paid the extra money for the flight.
When we finally arrived in Reynosa, the smuggler said he would come back for us and take us to the border, but he never did. He took all our documentation; all I was left with was my Eritrean ID. We waited for 2 days before deciding to take action. I didn’t understand Spanish, but I had bought an Arabic to Spanish dictionary and between myself and my 12-year-old son we managed to get a taxi to take us to the Mexico/US border. We had to stand in line for an hour and a half before, the US Border Patrol asked us where we were from and I gave them my ID and told them I wanted to ask for asylum.
We were kept in detention for 4 days on the US side and we had to sleep on the floor, it was very uncomfortable because I had back problems. I couldn’t sleep at night and my children were getting sick. The police didn’t talk to us and we only saw them when they gave us sandwiches three times a day. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and called for the supervisor. She told me I had to wait for my paperwork, but she understood I was in pain and that I had requested medication which they had initially refused to give me because they didn’t know my health condition and thought I might have an adverse reaction to it. Later that day she informed us she had managed to transfer us to a hotel until our papers were processed.
The next day we were put on a truck headed to a smaller city in Texas where we were put in a shelter. It was very difficult living there, I had to learn how to navigate around a new country, interact with different people and learn about a new culture whilst having 5 children to look after.
The next day we were put on a truck headed to a smaller city in Texas where we were put in a shelter. It was very difficult living there, I had to learn how to navigate around a new country, interact with different people and learn about a new culture whilst having 5 children to look after. Sometimes we went days without food because as Muslims we don’t eat pork and they used to cook it frequently. Most of the people spoke Spanish and I didn’t understand it, but I came across a woman who told me where a grocery store was, and I was able to feed my children bread and milk for a few weeks. By then my husband had been freed, after one and a half years the Eritrean security forces just decided to let him go. He went back to Saudi and I loved living in Saudi but what happened when his contract ran out again? Where would we go? I applied for him to join us in the US and he’s here now.
I qualified as a nurse in Ethiopia because Eritrea doesn’t have good access to education, but I chose not to go back because we live under a dictatorship and there is lifetime mandatory military service for all citizens. I worked in Saudi for a few years until I got married. I tried to work again in the US, but I was told my degrees needed to be certified and Ethiopia wasn’t willing to do it. I would also have had to go back to school, which I wouldn’t have been able to cope with because my mind wasn’t the same as it had been decades earlier. I did try to go back to school and work for a little bit, but I couldn’t do it. I was a single parent with 5 children to look after. I didn’t want them growing up without me around.
Allah gave me the strength to get through everything and I kept telling my children that tomorrow will be better but it’s hard as a mother when your children ask you for something and you can’t give it to them, it’s very painful.
It was very hard before our asylum was official, I got nothing from the government, but the Islamic community in Brownsville helped us a lot. The community helped pay for my food and rent and after our asylum was approved, the government gave us food stamps and money to cover 4 months’ rent. Allah gave me the strength to get through everything and I kept telling my children that tomorrow will be better but it’s hard as a mother when your children ask you for something and you can’t give it to them, it’s very painful. I remember my son asking me for shoes, but I didn’t have the money and I had to tell him to be patient and ask Allah for help. The next day some representatives from the school board contacted me and mentioned they had supplies so my son was able to get shoes.
I feel bad whenever I read the media narrative, we only came here because of a terrible situation in our country. We don’t come here to get rich; we just want to be safe. People don’t understand our situation and they don’t know what it’s like.
In the future, I would like to open a centre to help first arrivals and especially Muslims because of how hard it was for us to find food. I feel bad whenever I read the media narrative, we only came here because of a terrible situation in our country. We don’t come here to get rich; we just want to be safe. People don’t understand our situation and they don’t know what it’s like. Someday I would like to go back, but only if this government isn’t in power. It’s hard for me to be here without my parents and family but we would be killed if we went back now.
I am a refugee because of my experiences but I’ve been in the US for 8 years now and over time I have come to see myself as an American. I didn’t see the same freedom, safety and opportunities in Eritrea that I see here in the US. When people are forced to leave their countries, they are doing it to find safety and they leave even if they have a nice living situation at home. I’m not in my own country and my two older children don’t even mention they are Eritrean; they are American now. When I told people I am a refugee, I didn’t get a negative reaction because it’s so diverse here. I wasn’t uncomfortable when I came here. When I travel to California and Minnesota, I saw a lot of refugees and members of the black community, so I didn’t feel like I was alone. I want the world to help refugees because it’s difficult for them.